ANAHEED is walking PINEY home from the park. Suddenly TWO FRENCH BULLDOGS run toward Piney. Anaheed notices that the FLOPPY-HAIRED DUDE, apparently in his late 20s or early 30s, walking the Frenchies is making no effort to shorten their leashes or prevent them from going straight up to her dog, who is very obviously wearing a muzzle and on a short leash, and who looks pretty anxious at this latest development.
ANAHEED tightens PINEY’s leash and tries to get away from the approaching dogs as quickly as possible. She’s wearing her noise-canceling headphones and listening to “The Long Shot” and so she can only very faintly hear the FLOPPY-HAIRED DUDE say something like, “Don’t be so tense. ”
As she ... I can’t keep up this third-person thing any longer. As *I* approach my apartment building, I’m aware that I’m being followed. I turn around and see that the follower is none other than FHD. I see his lips moving but can’t hear him. I remove my headphones.
ME: What?
FHD: I was just trying to ask you how aggressive he is.
ME: Oh. He’s very aggressive.
FHD: [Chuckling] Well, he can’t be very aggressive.
ME: He is.
FHD: Why do you think that?
ME: [Getting out house keys] I know that he is.
FHD: How do you know that?
ME: [Unlocking front door of building] Because he’s my dog.
FHD: Well, he wouldn’t be aggressive if he were trained.
ME: He is trained.
FHD: I’m a dog trainer.
ME: [Opening front door] Great.
FHD: He probably just needs a trainer.
ME: He has one. OK. Bye.
FHD: Well it can’t be a very good trainer if they’re calling a dog aggressive!
ME: She didn’t call him aggressive. I did.
FHD: How do you know he’s aggressive?
ME: Because I’ve lived with him for five years. [Starting to enter the bldg.]
FHD: You don’t have to run away.
ME: I’m not running away. I’m at my house.
FHD: I’m just trying to help.
ME: Great. Thanks. [Walking away]
FHD: I am trying to help you!
ME: I don’t want your help.
FHD: You shouldn’t run away from me! I want to help!
ME: Thank you for your unsolicited advice. It’s very helpful.
FHD: No problem! I’m a dog trainer. You shouldn’t have tensed up over there at the corner. Your dog can feel you getting tense. That’s probably why he’s aggressive.
ME: [Exasperated] I tensed up because your dogs were running at mine full speed, and you showed no signs of thinking maybe you should stop them. You can’t be much of a dog trainer if you let your dogs run right up to obviously nervous, muzzle-wearing dogs.
FHD: God! You don’t have to have an attitude!
That’s when I shut the door between us.
12 comments:
this is my favorite thing. #sarcasm
on a daily basis I get unsolicited training advice for both dogs and even better - medical advice for my tripod!
you're so much nicer than I ever have been!
I second strong cookie's comment, you're much nicer than I would have been too.
I carry a stun baton now (my dog was attacked by 2 loose dogs and luckily survived) and I think I would have been very tempted to use it on LHD!!
I was scared for you just reading the story. Man he sounded creepy!!
Bella's Mom
(p.s. I just love Piney!)
Dude! Relax!
how stressful for you, piney [and piney's human]:(
i get "attacked" by dogs all the time, especially little ones on long leashes. mostly their humans just think it's funny. very often they don't even try to pull the leashes back in. it's sad because when i "attack" back [and i must admit i look and sound like a maniac when i do], i'm always the bad one because i'm a big dog.
there you are. there are silly humans everywhere.
ugh, I hate this guy. He is the worst guy.
ps the verification word for this comment was RAPIE. Um yeah RAPIE.
off topic but the poster above is right its always the big dogs fault people in my neighborhood will let their little dogs run around the street off leash and never correct their dogs barking madly at big dogs also when people see a dog owner is trying to keep their dog away why oh why do they insist on coming up close and saying stuff like 'oh i'm great with dogs'
also what is up with the retractable leashes- i saw a lady with a boxer on one and she couldn't control the dog at all
sorry for the rant-this post hit a nerve for sure
UGH! This happens to me all the time. I get yelled at when my short leashed, fearful, occasional aggressive dog snaps at your overly friendly not restricted at all dog. Gee, I wonder why I tense up.
I can't believe the stupidity of some people! Did he suggest you alpha roll Piney, too?
You should have gotten his name and put a warning out so nobody actually hires this bloke as a dog trainer.
I took my 3 year old Staffy girl Shyla who is a rescue to doggy school and one of the trainers there suggested that Shyla doesn't play because I'm too boring and don't try hard enough (and not because Shyla spent the first couple of years of her life chained up in some backyard). Before I could react, the "trainer" then proceeded to show me how I should engage Shyla in play by grabbing my startled dog's head and shaking her from side to side. And this was the exact moment my previously only timid dog started to bark at strangers.
Hey, this is your sucky trainer weighing in. After my Juni was attacked by that off-leash dog a couple of weeks ago, a bystander, who also had 2 dogs off leash (in the non-off-leash area, but of course), explained to me that the attack was my fault because my dog was on leash. Sic. Similarly, you are always at fault because you are taking appropriate precautions with Piney. See how that works? We all feel better now, right?
dear piney, i like your sucker trainer jolanta! and i DO feel better now that i know dogs all over the world are being harassed just like me! :p
You demonstrated amazing forbearance. No one has the right to be so crazy, so close to you. At my age I'm no longer willing to let men tell me how to feel or not to feel, so this guy would have needed to be wearing a titanium protective cup if he'd tried it with me.
Word of advice for all: if someone is creeping you out, do not go home. Even if you are two steps away, the last thing you want is for this person to know where you live. Go to the most crowded public area you can reach, and scream.
Sprockets
sprocketsinside.blogspot.com
Sprock is right, I hadn't even thought of that but it's a really good idea to not let the wackos know where you live.
I love the idea of getting his card so as to warn off all (any?) potential "customers."
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