Dismissed

I had to appear in court last week, to be tried (!) and pay a fine for having my dog off leash (at night, on a fenced-in basketball court, with no one around but the two dogs Piney is friends with and their owners). They gave me a public defender, who looked at my case and was like, “Oh, it’s a pit bull? That’s even worse.” Funny, the ticket the cop gave me didn’t specify my dog’s breed, but apparently he entered that information into the record. Then the judge said, “A pit bull! There is no worse dog to have off leash. Are you aware of the reputation of that breed?” I paused for a long time before answering—so long that the PD had to tell me to say “Yes, Judge.” What I was thinking during that pause: Last I heard, there was no breed-specific legislation in NYC—so why does it matter what breed my dog is? How is that relevant to my legal case? And the reason he was in that park, off leash, at night, is that he can’t be off leash in too many places. And have I told you about my dog? And the misery he goes through every day, what with the stomach pains and the itchy skin and the anxiety? Do you know that his evening playtime with Katie and Mocha is literally his FAVORITE THING THAT HE EVER DOES and one of his few chances for real joy in life? So no I will not stop taking him off leash, illegally, in that basketball court at night, and I am actually being a responsible dog owner by doing so.

Obviously I didn’t say any of that. I said, “Yes, Judge.” And I’m not really complaining, because the judge—who has a reputation as a dog lover—dismissed my case and sent me home! And at least I wasn’t one of those guys who had to get up in front of everyone to plead guilty to urinating in public. There were so many of those dudes.